The birth

It all started around one o’clock in the afternoon on Saturday the 29^th of October. A cool and clear sunny day, one in which Brandon and I thought a walk to our favorite used bookstore would be quite appropriate.

So off we walked (I waddled… Brandon walked) I was greeted by an interesting cramp (“Braxton Hicks again” I sighed to Brandon, “don’t worry I am fine… this baby is never coming out I think.”) So we continued our walk, had a nice time at the bookstore where we read about many different things, and soon we were on our way home. Suddenly the cramps were coming steadily and it was more difficult to walk through them.

“Let’s time them just in case.”

They were everywhere some were 10 minutes apart and lasted 40 seconds some were 9 minutes and lasted an entire minute. I was very skeptical that anything “real” was going on.

So our arrival at home found us playing a wonderful first-person shooter game called “Borderlands”. I was very distracted by it for a while, but then…

“can we pause it? I am having another pain.”

I couldn’t aim my shots at people through these so-called contractions… maybe they were real? Maybe I was in labor…. True labor.

Part of me wanted to be in labor because I didn’t want to wait another day to hold this baby of ours growing inside of me. And now that I was starting to feel some really heavy pain a whole different part of me was quivering in the corner of a room shivering and saying aloud “maybe tomorrow would be a better day for this.”

So we continued pausing and timing the contractions until around 730 pm and I was actually beginning to shed some tears.

“I think now would be a good time to call the midwife.” I said to Brandon, “ I think that this really must be happening.”

So I got on the phone with the midwife and tried to sound as cool and collected as possible (which she explained later was the reason why she didn’t tell me to rush into the hospital then and there. Just a tip… don’t try to hide the pain when you live 30 minutes away from the hospital and you are on the phone with your health care provider trying to make a decision.).

My midwife told me not to worry, and that I should use this time to take about an hour long shower with Brandon just to help in the whole dilating process and pain relief. I unwillingly got into the shower (I think Brandon was pretty scared at this time too because my contractions were now starting to feel (for me) and sound (for him) pretty serious). 30 minutes into the shower, however, I couldn’t do it anymore. Even standing was a chore… and now that I know how it feels I was definitely having the urge to push.

Brandons mom arrived home around this time and I heard her, through the bathroom door, telling him that I was in “hard labor”. This to me, at the time made so much sense that it scared me… why wasn’t I at the hospital?

So after receiving a blessing from Brandon’s Dad and Brandon I decided now would be a good time to call the midwife and head into the hospital. This time on the phone with her I couldn’t get through a sentence and Brandon had to talk. The plan was to head through triage (the main hospital was shut down at this time of the day) and meet her right up in maternity for a check up to see if I was really experiencing labor.

I had so much doubt in my mind. Was I really in labor? It seems like I always hear about false alarms. Could this be a false alarm? So much of me was hoping this was it. If it gets much worse than this, I thought, then I don’t know if I can handle it… I just don’t think I can manage.

The car ride was interesting. And by interesting I mean the most painful and longest drive we have ever taken from Chilliwack to Abbotsford. To me it didn’t even feel as if contractions were letting up anymore. It seemed it was one after another, and my back pain was excruciating. Brandon’s parents took us to the hospital. It was a good thing Brandon wasn’t driving; I needed to squeeze his hand the whole way there.  Also, I was probably stressing him out something awful.

Brandon’s Mom, Tami took this opportunity to play my favorite music… Christmas. This helped a great deal. I tried to sing a little through the contractions. I am really glad we do not have any of this night recorded… have I mentioned that? I definitely would not be getting a Juno for the singing that took place this night. But perhaps had it been a full moon a pack of canines would have been interested in joining me.

When we arrived I had a very tough time getting out of the car. Someone brought a wheelchair for me to get into. In retrospect if it hadn’t been for that wheelchair I never would have made it in to the hospital. And there was no way I would have let anyone carry me.

Now it is here in the story where my memory is a little fuzzy. I think perhaps it was because of the extreme amounts of pain I found myself in my brain must have gone into autopilot. My true colors began to emerge in a series of meetings with some interesting people on the way up to maternity. So be warned that this next part of the story includes small tidbits from my memory pieced together by the testimony of my family present this night.

As we entered emergency I remember feeling confused as to where we were to go. I remember asking some patients that were sitting near the door smoking where I was to go. They wound up assisting us in our quest for the main lobby to get to the main elevators. At this point my memory was that these people were all on our team and everyone was there to help me through this tough time. And so naturally I felt that since these people were on our team it would be alright to trust them. A man and a lady who had eben smoking outside showed us the way. As we entered the elevators with them I could hear Brandon and his Mom explaining that I was in labor and we didn’t know how to get to maternity. It was at this point I turned to the lady and I said “if I have this baby in this elevator YOU are the one who will deliver it.” And then I turned to the man and as I pointed my finger at him in my delirious state said, “Because you have no experience.” I must note that this was brought on by the fact that the lady had mentioned that she had a baby. And so, it hadn’t just been me stereotyping the fact that she was a woman she had to have had a baby.”

As we got out of the elevator we said goodbye to our new friend and she wished us luck. We were finally on maternity floor and all we had to do was sign in. Brandon couldn’t find my care card in my wallet. I remember trying to explain to him that it was behind my driver’s license, but I think all that must have come out was “behind the picture!!!” And now that I think about it I can’t believe he found it at all. Into the heart of the maternity floor they wheeled me. We met a very nice nurse named Leona. She let us know that Laurie, our midwife hadn’t made it there yet, but she could start my assessment. What seemed a few minutes later Laurie arrived, and (I think) kept reminding me to take deep breaths. I didn’t want to at the time, but they really do help.

After my blood pressure and heart rate and everything were checked the moment of truth was approaching. Was I dilated? How far was I along? Would I be sent home? Would I be here for hours and hours longer trying to withstand this torture?

Laurie checked… “I usually like to approximate less than people actually are when I do this,” she said “but I would say you are probably 7 or actually probably 8 cm dilated.” Wow. Wow. I was going to have a baby… tonight. 

So the plan was to get me in my wheelchair and off to a room. You see, at Abbotsford Hospital the labor delivery and recovery all stay in the same room. Room 18 had our name on it. So that is where we went.

When we got to the room I changed into a gown, I suppose. I can’t remember this… but from the pictures I clearly see that I was wearing a gown, which leads me to believe I changed into it. I then got someone taking blood from my arm (I can actually remember the blood guy warning me that there would be a poke. Are you kidding me? I am not even going to feel it.

Laurie then instructed me that the next part would be the toughest and I shouldn’t push yet even though my body wanted me to. I told her I thought she might need to reassess my situation because I thought I was ready.

10 cm. Ready for action.

She told me I was allowed to push. I guess normally first time Moms didn’t go this fast. But I guess after all of our daughters prep talks and training meetings the message sunk in that we wanted her here. She just thought in terms of minutes.

In the next hour and a half or so the process of delivery really doesn’t need a whole lot of attention to detail. It included myself inhaling gas, a husband with a sore hand (and apparently I snagged his hair at one point too), a room full of grandparents (gma and gpa tami and glen, and papa and nana Rob and Robin), and then… a baby.

When she came out it was such a relief in every way. Physically the hard part was over, emotionally we could now hold our hot little bundle and cuddle her, and everything was good.

Belle Antoinette Sallenbach was born 1203 am on October 30^th 2011. Brandon almost got his Halloween baby. This was definitely the happiest moment of our lives. As she cuddled against me there was a sense of peace. The room, which once had a crazy lady in it and a team of people helping her, was now an oasis for this baby. She cried a little on the way out but was then silent and sleepy.

We took note right away of her full head of dark hair. If the old wives tale about acid reflux meaning your baby will have a full head of hair applies to anyone, it definitely works here.

Her skin was a cherry red and velvety smooth, and her eyes were a dark dark blue. Both her hands and feet were the crinkliest things I have ever seen (which says a lot because I have worked geriatrics), and were a little bit purple. Also she was born with a bit of a cone head, which gave her the nickname “peanut” for a few days. 

6 pounds 15 and half ounces was her weight. We were so proud of our tiny little bundle for all of the hard work she had done to be here. 

As soon as everything else had been dealt with (some stitches etc.), they cleaned Belle up a little and checked her out a bit and then bundled her up like she was going out into a snowstorm. A hat for newborn that they give out on the unit was much too big for our little peanut, but looked great on her anyways.

Soon the grandparents left and it was the three of us and Laurie still left.

I now had to get up and shower (which sounds a lot easier than it was), and I also had to learn how to breastfeed.

Laurie stayed with us until about 4 in the morning assisting us with these things and everything went really well.

Belle latched perfectly as if she had been practicing, and that was a huge blessing. And Laurie helped an exhausted shaky me with cleaning up and all of that.

This was the best experience of my life. To have loved ones supporting me, my husband next to me every step and an incredible midwife (who kept calm and helped me through everything was both smart about things and warm), I would have to say that Belle was really blessed to have the birthday that she had. There is no way that both Brandon and I (and everyone who was there that night), won’t recommend getting a midwife to everyone we possibly can.